Amoeba Music

The whole concept of being addicted to sex went over my head until I saw this film. Sure, I saw that the act could be something that people heavily desired, but it wasn't until after I saw an example that I was able to understand what many celebrities and political figures are trying desperately to confess in the public eye. I Am a Sex Addict is the hilariously simple and yet wholly autobiographical story of Caveh Zahedi, a director who decided to make a film about his struggle with sex addiction. After introducing that he has had two failed marriages on account of his addiction and is moments away from having his third failed marriage, Zahedi maps out his adventure, starting with his childhood, and openly discusses his parents' bitter divorce, which was based on infidelity. He also goes on a tangent in order to express the dreamy optimism of searching for a soulmate in every girl whom he encountered as a boy. From there it dives into confrontations with Anna, his first girlfriend and true love. Their relationship was based on "free-love" and polyamory, which eventually led to Caveh meeting Caroline on a trip to France and marrying her in order for her to remain in the States. After this ended his relationship with Anna, he returns to France with Caroline only to find himself entangled in a web of temptation when he discovers the world of prostitution.

At first, his desire to confront them is fulfilled by merely conversing with them, followed by the first step of his addiction, masturbation. It then goes on to actually performing sexual acts with them, while being honest about his indulgence with Caroline. This produces strain, so he then becomes dishonest with her, which ultimately ends their relationship. After learning nothing from those two women he meets Christa, a girl he thinks has finally accepted him for what he is. But as it turns out, their relationship also leads to destruction on account of his honesty. While with her he meets Devin, who also does not believe in monogamy and leads him to believe that he simply needs a better, more understanding girlfriend. But after leaving Christa to be with Devin, he realizes that Devin is an alcoholic and they too part ways in an ugly fashion. It wasn’t until his relationship with Devin that he discovered that all of his girlfriends were, in some ways, mirrors into his own soul, and that while he was not an alcoholic, he had the tendencies of one in terms of sex, and he eventually got help.

Now whether or not you’ve ever been addicted to anything recreational - gambling, work, sex, etc - is irrelevant, as is whether or not you’ve ever been addicted to a substance, be it drugs or food. The point of this semi-documentary is that everything can become habit-forming and needs to be approached in a safe way. The comedy that comes with this film relies heavily on the quirky and bizarre acting/reacting of Caveh’s experiences, as well as the irony of his situation. The funny thing is that Caveh does everything with the best intentions, but later realizes that most of his intentions were self-serving. After meeting other men in Sex Anonymous meetings, he is finally shown other examples of men who have hit rock bottom, both financially and in terms of their relationships, which not only eases his shame (because he is able to share it), but also allows him to think about what he really desires most in life -  a soulmate.

The strength of the film's message, and at times its hilarity, is the thorough mapping out of the mental process that all addicts have in common—the sort of flushing out and purging of desire, claiming each indulgence to be the last and making guidelines and propositions to oneself that grow more ridiculous over time. Other films might show you someone going through it, but rarely, in documentary or feature, do they ever explain how they got there. From issues with his Catholic upbringing and mother, to God knows what else, we see the whole roller coaster ride into his chaotic reality. It is a downer in some instances, but overall, a true story and a great comedy not to be missed.